There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to find someone to share your life with and magick is a perfectly acceptable way of aiding you do this. However instead of focusing your energy on a particular person, ideally the practitioner should construct the spell or ritual so to draw the ideal mate into your life.
In reality, whomever you are brought, it may not be the person you think or wish it to be.
Having said this, practitioners can also weave a spell so that someone you wish to be with will see your best qualities. This is different to using magick to make a person fall in love with you.
The key in this is that non manipulative magick does not use energy to influence their free will.
With this in mind and an understanding that NOT all love magick need be manipulative, we can now explore the options for safe and ethical love magick.
Before you even consider using magick to draw a lover into your life, develop a list of qualities, attributes and interests that you seek in your ideal mate. Try not to be too concerned with looks or superficial attributes, but rather focus on the long lasting qualities that form the basis of a loving and secure relationship
After you've done this, research the appropriate herbs, oils and or magickal tools necessary to help facilitate your magickal working (see Love Correspondences).
Once you have compiled a suitable list of 'ingredients', use our Creating a Spell page to develop a basis for your spell, finally finish the developmental stage by fleshing out your spell with instructions, wording and actions required (this is especially important if you haven't cast a spell before, or are just a beginner)
Make sure you have all the requirements in your spell, set out in front of you before beginning, you can't go running off to grab something you have forgotten halfway through the spell.
Now work the spell, ritual or candle magick you have created according to your direction (don't try to change your mind part way through, you must have flow and rhythm in your spell casting) focus on drawing the right energy (and therefore person) into your life.
This may not be a one time ritual so don't expect it to be. As with all magick, results take time, focus and energy. What you get back from the spell is totally dependant upon the energy, effort, and direction you put into it.
Love Magick is a ritual you may need to repeat on a regular basis until it manifests in your life.
Have enough confidence in and respect for yourself to know that you deserve to be loved and that love will come to you when the time is right.
Give the Divine and the Universe a chance to work their own Magick.
Love is the greatest gift the Divine has to offer and if two people are meant to be, the energy and chemistry between them will happen naturally.
However we have all been in a relatioship where we are in love but the sparks have died down to a slow burn and we wish to reignite the passion we once shared. If your relationship needs a little nudge in the right direction, don't be afraid to tell the person how you feel and if they are happy to be a party to magick - use the appropriate herbs, oils or rituals to help.
The key to remember during your rituals is that instead of asking that this person love you more deeply, focus on the intention that "If this relationship is meant to be, may our love become stronger..." (There is nothing worse than being in a relationship that SHOULD have ended but the people involved won't let it go. If the time has come to move on then accept this gracefull and thank each other for the lessons shared).
However if all is well, follow up your combined spell working effort, by doing the things people newly in love do to, for and with each other. Magick is not the be all and end all - you must put the energy and effort into making it happen. By performing love magick in this way, your spellworking will not cross the line into manipulative magick.
It is also important to realise that if your relationship is struggling or has hit a few rough spots, not to panic, this is normal and can be a healthy part of a growing relationshi. All relationships have their ups and downs, learning, growing and devloping your relationship comes from facing adversity, together.
The first step to resolving problems with your relationship, should be, through open and honest communication, not magick. Magick should ALWAYS be a last resort or a part of the process - not an attempt at an easy fix.
If as a couple you wish to stay together, the use of magick to help is acceptable as long as both parties are aware of all actions, possible consequences and agree to its working. Do your research and use the appropriate herbs, oils and tools to help.
It is important to note that it will take the combined energy and effort of both of you to make it happen, much as the same any working through any issue in your relationship should. Love cannot exist as a one sided emotion.
Many times if you allow yourself to objectively evaluate the situation in your relationship, you will find that you've simply fallen into a rut, which has taken the excitement out of the relationship or you're not putting the energy into one another that you once did. This is easy and simply fixed by making the time for each other, for remembering WHY you fell in love andby showing it.
Using magick can certainly help your relationship, but putting energy and effort into being attentive, considerate, seductive, romantic and showing genuine interest and desire for one another is the greatest love magick there is. The results of these acts are almost always immediate as well. The real magick of love comes from what we feel and how we show it!
On the down side, you must be willing to accept that if your interests and personalities are not aligned, compromises cannot be reached, or the energy isn't there anymore, magick is not the answer. Sometimes we have to be wise and strong enough to accept that people grow, evolve and change which can lead to a fork in two peoples paths. What was once a relationship that offered growth, nurturing and oneness of spirit may no longer be the case.
If this is so, simply be thankful for what you have shared, the lessons you have gained, the memories you carry. Be kind, considerate and loving because you cared enough for this person at one time to walk the same path, take a little of that love and allow each other to walk away with as much self respect and dignity as possible. Remind yourself if need be, that you are both the Goddess's Children and deserve to be treated with the respect and honour we give The Mother.
And remember, that where love ends, a new beginning forms, new doors open, new experiences await. The end of one relationship is NOT the end of your world, if anything it is an exciting new journey awaiting you!