The Magickal Universe

Where Magick is a way of life!

Note to the Survivors....and their loved ones......

Rape: If this event has just happened to you or your loved one - go to a hospital and file a police report before doing ANY ritual or even before showering. It is very important that the police have evidence to catch these people, so they can be punished according to the law (the Goddess will deal with them spiritually). You may also require medical or psychological assistance via councelling  - the best place for this is the hospital! Take a fmaily member or friend that you trust to stay with you throughout the process as it will not be easy, but it should be done.

Domestic Violence: If you are still in this situation - leave! Do not allow yourself to be treated this way for a m,oment longer, I know you feel you love this person but the best way you can be of help to them is to report their actions to the police. many abusers find it difficult to relate their actions to the injury they cause and it often takes them being charged or at least warned by the police before they will seek help. Besides that YOU deserve to be treated as the unique and precious child of the Divine that you are!

Child Abuse: If you know or suspect this may be happening, don't sit there - report it, right now, don't wait, go to the phone this instance and ring child services. Children are unable to protect themselves and it is up to each and every one of uis to protect them. They are our future!

 

Dear Survivor,

From one survivor to another, I want you to know, no matter how dark the place may feel that you currently find yourself in, you can and will see the light again if you seek help. Help from friends, family and professionals.  There are many places to seek help, and if your not sure where to go then don't be afraid to ask, If you are really at a loss as to where to sart then contact me, I will point you in the right direction.

If you seek assistance in creating a meaningful survivor ritual, or wish to have one performed (locally only) my services are available free of charge. If all you need is a friend to turn to, please don't hesitate to contact me.

May the Goddess Bless you

Lady Rohanna xoxo

Reclaiming Rituals

Sadly many women who come to Paganism have been through traumatic experiences such as rape, domestic violence or child abuse, each of these women  come to Paganism seeking a strength in the Female archetypes, In the power of a Goddess and as a means of empowering themselves towards healing and wholeness.

It is not just the past that can carry painful associations, as a High Priestess I have been approached on a number of occasions to aid in the healing process of a survivor. As a survivor myself I have seen and felt the impact these events can place upon the spirit and I have also felt the renewal that a powerfully performed ritual can have on the healing of one's spirit. The intention behind these rituals is to allow a sense of self to again emerge, a sense of control and a feeling of purity. 

Within Paganism we see the body as the temple of our spirit, as a manifestation of the Divine, hwoever when we have been raped, abused or beaten down, our sense of this sacredness is removed. If we consider a physical Temple, a Church and imagine that it had been defiled by vandalism, how would it be made sacred again?

The Temple would be cleaned of all impurity (such as grafitti), it would be made whole (damage repaired), it would be Blessed and sanctified again by a Priest/ess (to make it pure) and finally the congregation would once again consider the temple to be sacred and a place to be able once more to worship.......and so this is the basis we use for these Rituals, to return the temple of the soul once again to purity.

There are many ways to  perform a ritual for Reclaimation, and much of it depends upon the event which caused the defilement (rape, child abuse, domestic violence etc) and the beliefs and understanding of the survivor and their loved ones.

Obviously the more the ritual connects with the survivor the greater the impact it will have on them for healing, and while I will post a few examples here to give a greater understanding of how these Rituals may be performed, it should be noted that an individual approach MUST be taken for optimum results.

The inclusion of loved ones must also be seriously taken into some consideration as many survivors find it difficult to be able to speak of the abuse, where possible the loved ones SHOULD be involved, however it is vitally important that the survivor has the final say on who attends the ritual and in what capacity they are involved. In fact the survivor should if comfortable take a large role in the development their own ritual as this will aid them not only in understanding the process but also in the effect the ritual will have. 

Some survivors find a ritual that includes friends they have made via councelling or support groups to be very beneficial as they feel they are surrounded by those who understand and are able to share in the healing process with them, as they already have bond between the, this can increase the powerful effect of a Reclaiming ritual, but can also, in some circumstance, created a codependancy that may not be beneficial to healing, in my experiences however the benefits far outweigh the difficulties. 

A Basic Reclaiming Ritual Outline

  1. Preparation: Circle casting, altar creation/decoration, beautifying the sacred space - whatever feels right, simply the space should be beautiful, comfortable and most importasntly safe
  2. Outline: a basic outlining of the remainder of the ritual to come for loved ones present, while this is happening the survivor is under separation
  3. Seclusion: a separation, meditation or time of seclusion - this period should be less than would normally be used as most recent survivors are not comfortable with vast amounts of time to reflect on their situation, however a small amount of reflection prior to the ritual is generally beneficial.
  4. Purification: a purification bath, smudging or aspirging - removal of negative thoughts and energy from the survivor
  5. Annointing: a sacred annointing of the survivor (this is most often performed by a High Priest/ess, however it may be performed by a loved one such as a mother, husband or sister)
  6. Blessing: this may be done at the same time as the annointing (in which case the Goddess may be Invoked by the Priest/ess) or as a separate section to the ritual depending upon attendees, comfort of the survivor and ritual outline.
  7. Gifting: The blessings may be part of a gifting by loved ones in which they, give a small gift of significance along with a blessing (such as a mirror "may you always see how beautiful you are", or a crystal "may you have outer beauty and inner strength")
  8. Forgiveness: This phase is HIGHLY dependant upon the stage of healing that the survivor is at. For some to whom the event was a while in their past, (such as a survivor of domestic violence) may be comfortable adding this phase, however if they have recently undergone the experience they will not be ready for forgiveness (and many survivors never are).  If this feels right to THEM (and only they can decide if it is), then it may be included as part of the ritual, -  in which a loved one of the gender who created the abuse - stands in, as a surrogate, for the abuser - and asks for forgiveness for the act and the pain they have caused. This enables the survivor to release the feelings of anger and shame by forgiving the crimes against them. Note: This section should NEVER be forced upon any survivor EVER. They will know if they are ready for this, and as stated many are never ready and this is fine and if not that is just fine too.
  9. Declaration: This is both the High Priest/ess stating that the survivor is again pure, whole and sanctified, and also the survivor stating that they are whole and pure and sanctified (the wording as appropriate)
  10. Sharing: This is simply a time to sit back, share a meal, maybe a few drinks and enjoy being in the company of people who care about you, the survivor and the company.

 The Survivors Bill of Rights

As a Matter of your Personal AUTHORITY, You Have the Right ...

  • to manage your life according to your own values and judgment
  • to direct your recovery, answerable to no one for your goals, effort, or progress
  • to gather information to make intelligent decisions about your recovery
  • to seek help from a variety of sources, unhindered by demands for exclusivity
  • to decline help from anyone without having to justify the decision
  • to have faith in your powers of self restoration -- and to seek allies who share it
  • to trust allies in healing as much as any adult can trust another, but no more
  • to be afraid and to avoid what frightens you
  • to decide for yourself whether, when, and where to confront your fear
  • to learn by experimenting, that is, to make mistakes.

For the Preservation of your Personal BOUNDARIES, You Have the Right ...

  • to be touched only with your permission, and only in ways that are comfortable
  • to choose to speak or remain silent, about any topic or at any moment
  • to choose to accept or decline feedback, suggestions, or interpretation
  • to ask for help in healing, without having to accept help with work, play, or love
  • to challenge any crossing of your boundaries
  • to take appropriate action to end any trespass that does not cease when challenged.

In the Sphere of your Personal COMMUNICATION, You Have the Right ...

  • to ask for explanation of communications you do not understand
  • to express a contrary view when you do understand and you disagree
  • to acknowledge your feelings, without having to justify them as assertions of fact or actions affecting others
  • to ask for changes when your needs are not being met
  • to speak of your experience, with respect for your doubts and uncertainties
  • to resolve doubt without deferring to the views or wishes of anyone.

Specific to the DOMAIN of Healing, In regards to your chosen Therapy, You Have the Right ...

  • to hire a therapist or counselor as coach, not boss, of your recovery
  • to receive expert and faithful assistance in healing from your therapist 
  • to be assured that your therapist will refuse to engage in any other relationship with you --business, social, or sexual -- for life
  • to be secure against revelation of anything you have disclosed to your therapist, unless a court of law commands it
  • to have your therapist's undivided loyalty in relation to any and all perpetrators, abusers, or oppressor
  • to receive informative answers to questions about your condition, your hopes for recovery, the goals and methods of treatment, the therapist's qualifications
  • to have a strong interest by your therapist in your safety, with a readiness to use all legal means to neutralize an imminent threat to your life or someone else's
  • to have your therapist's commitment to you not depend on your "good behavior," unless criminal activity or ongoing threats to safety are involved
  • to know reliably the times of sessions and of your therapist's availability, including, if you so desire, a commitment to work together for a set term
  • to telephone your therapist between regular scheduled sessions, in urgent need, and have the call returned within a reasonable time
  • to be taught skills that lessen risk of retraumatisation containment (reliable temporal/spatial boundaries for recovery work); (b) systematic relaxation; (c) control of attention and imagery (through trance or other techniques)
  • to reasonable physical comfort during sessions.

Sources and Resources


After Silence http://www.aftersilence.org/
A non-profit organization, message board and chat room for rape, sexual abuse, and sexual assault survivors.
 
t Happened to Alexa Foundation http://www.ithappenedtoalexa.org
A resource for victims of sexual assault to receive money to ease the burden of attending a criminal trial.

Pandora's Aquarium http://www.pandys.org/
Provides a message board and chat room for survivors and their supporters.

Survivors UK http://www.survivorsuk.org/
Provides information, support and counselling for men who have been raped or sexually abused.

National Association for People Abused in Childhood ( NAPAC) http://www.napac.org.uk/
NAPAC is a registered charity, which has been set up as a result of a key recommendation by the National Commission of Inquiry into the Prevention of Child Abuse.

Adult Survivors of Child Abuse http://www.ascasupport.org/
Provides information, materials and on-line e-meeting for Individual and group support program for adult survivors of physical, sexual or emotional child abuse or neglect.

Generation Five http://www.generationfive.org
A movement to end child sexual abuse in five generations through survivor leadership, community organization and public action.

Dancing In The Darkness http://www.dancinginthedarkness.com/
Help and support for survivors of rape and sexual abuse. A safe place to share stories, hope and courage.

The Survivors Forum http://eyecatchers.com/survivors/
This site offers chat rooms, forums and other resources for survivors of sexual abuse.

The Silver Braid Survivors of Sexual Exploitation http://www.thesilverbraid.org
Providing helpful information to those who have been victims of sexual exploitation.

Isurvive.org http://www.isurvive.org
A non-profit online community center for abuse survivors providing anonymous discussions boards, chat rooms and other resources.

Safe Haven http://www.safehaven-uk.org/
A site for survivors of sexual abuse and rape. Includes personal stories, poetry, tips, advice on coping day-to-day and an interactive message forum.

Fort Refuge http://www.fortrefuge.com
Supporting community for survivers of all types of abuse including Child abuse, incest, rape, ritual abuse, psychological and verbal abuse.

Project Hugs http://www.projecthugs.fusiveweb.co.uk/
A site where people who have suffered childhood abuse can write their story for a book due to be published.

Confronting Collusion in Churches http://members.tripod.com/~NoColluding/
This site offers a source of support for survivors, church leaders and survivor advocates struggling with clergy sexual abuse, domestic violence and incest.

Tamar's Voice http://www.tamarsvoice.org
This non-profit organization offers help and support for victims of sexual abuse by clergy.

Optimystic http://www.freewebs.com/optimystic/
This site is about living with optimism and faith to overcome childhood abuse.

Safeline http://www.safelinewarwick.co.uk/
This UK site provides information and help for adults who were sexually abused as children.

Survivor Matters http://www.survivormatters.btik.com/
Information and support forum for any survivors of any type of abuse. Created by survivors for survivors.

My Painful Smiles http://freewebs.com/mypainfulsmiles
A site to help the healing of childhood sexual abuse. A place for families to learn what the victims are going through.

The Hope of Survivors http://www.thehopeofsurvivors.com
Provides support, hope and encouragement for victims of clergy sexual abuse and misconduct.

Kingdom Abuse Survivors Project http://www.kasp.org.uk
A resource for survivors of childhood sexual abuse in the form of forums, chat rooms, help and advice.

Whitedoves Nest http://www.whitedovesnest.com
A site dedicated to sexual abuse survivors and their supporters. Share your story, poetry, art, and tips on recovery.

The BirdSong Organization http://members.tripod.com/birdsongorg/
A NYC based non-profit self-help group for female incest survivors offering a variety of support services including regular weekly meetings.

Angels In The Night http://angelsinnight.org
Support site for children of sexual abuse. Offering schudeled and moderated chats, tips and other resources.

Survivor's Personal Healing Journey http://www.thecpac.com/welcome.html
A survivor and publisher shares her stories of surviving sexual abuse.

Journey to Healing http://www.myjourney.homestead.com
Offers help and healing for sexual abuse, incest and rape victims.

Taking Back Control http://www.taking-back-control.com
A resource and message board for sexual assault survivors.

Survivors Can Thrive http://www.survivorscanthrive.com
Meditations, resources and tips for sexual abuse survivors.

Peaceful Haven http://www.angelfire.com/super2/p_bhaskar/
A personal experience of emotional, mental and sexual abuse.

Survive http://www.survive-northyorks.org.uk
Survive is a registered voluntary organization that provides support and help to survivors of child sexual abuse.

Jenny's Child Abuse Survivor Support http://www.angelfire.com/mn2/Abuse/index.html
Jenny shares her story and poetry and offers support to fellow survivors.

Chasing The Wind http://www.angelfire.com/ky3/chasingthewind/
Poetry on sexual and physical abuse by a proud survivor.

Inscriptions of Hope http://inscriptionsofhope.homestead.com/homepage.html
Newsletter of writings from survivors of childhood abuse.

Becoming Gold http://becominggold.inc5.com
Virtual support network for survivors of childhood sexual abuse, that encourages balance to the healing process through creativity, education and support.

Survivors Sanctuary http://wearesurvivors.tripod.com
A safe place of support and resources for survivors of abuse, sexual, mental or physical. Everyone is welcome regardless of gender.

Art of Healing http://www.nwfirefly.com/
Established artist, Linda Ness, shares her many paintings about her journey of recovery.
 
Survivors Chat http://www.survivorschat.com/
A support site, chat rooms, and resources for survivors of rape, incest, sexual abuse, or SRA.

Healing from Abuse http://www.freewebs.com/healingabuse/
This site seeks to address the unique issues of the emotionally, physically, and sexually abused. Chatroom, helpful links, book recommendations, support groups, and Healing Steps,and more are included in the healing journey.

Survivors Safe House http://angelfire.com/sc3/survivours
A safe and secure site for survivors and victims of sexual abuse regardless of age or gender.

My Twisted Sukha http://theweepers.tripod.com
This site deals with the effects of sexual abuse by a female perpetrator.

Askios http://members.tripod.com/askios-ivil/
Self-help group for women survivors of incest providing online information and support via website, message board and email.

S.H.E. Survivors Helping Each Other http://www.sheuk.org
Self help based charity for women survivors of childhood sexual abuse encourages a creative approach to healing and to promote public education and awareness.

The Black Sheep Chronicles http://black_sheep3.tripod.com/index.htm
Adult incest survivor's experiences with the aftermath of incest and how and why it affected her relationships with her entire family.

Pagan Survivors of Sexual Assault http://groups.yahoo.com/group/psosa/
A Yahoo! group for membership to pagans, witches, and wiccan wanderers who are survivors of sexual assault or are friends and family members of pagan survivors of sexual assault.

Encouragement for Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivors http://members.fortunecity.com/julieann3/childhoodsexualabusesurvivors
A site for those who have been sexually abused.

I Am A Survivor Not A Victim http://home.earthlink.net/~printser/
A survivor shares her story of sexual abuse.

Healing Broken Angels http://www.freewebs.com/healingbrokenangels/
Information and help for survivors of sexual assault and rape.

Jane Rowan http://www.janerowan.com
Jane shares her experience of healing from childhood sexual abuse.

Healing Minds http://www.freewebs.com/healingminds/
A site dedicated to survivors of abuse and sexual assault.
  After Silence: Rape and My Journey Back http://www.aftersilence-bynvraine.net
Exploring attitudes toward rape and its survivors, and the process of recovery from trauma.
  Swampy's Passions http://www.pinn.net/~swampy/passionindex.html
A story of one woman's survival of sexual abuse.
  Recovery http://recovery.fabglitter.org
Short, original essays about all aspects of recovery from childhood abuse.
  Healing Wounds http://s14.invisionfree.com/Healing_Wounds/index.php
Healing Wounds is a safe haven dedicated to survivors, a forum to talk about their trauma's and to heal.
  Share Your Survival Story http://bronbretag.tripod.com/shareyoursurvivalstory/
A web site where people can share their own personal stories of survival. Includes helpful links and other resources.
  Echoes http://members.tripod.com/echo_chartre-ivil/echoes/
Created for survivors of rape and sexual abuse. Includes a personal story, articles, poems, and links.
  Pressing On... http://members.tripod.com/Melody4Christ/index.htm
A site dedicated to the survivors of sexual abuse and incest. Provides practical info about sexual abuse, self-injury, eating disorders, quotes and fun links to nurture the child within.
  Netter's Place - Abuse Survivor Links http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/nettersplace/index.html
Offers links to different sites for abuse survivors seeking support and self help.
  Prysmstar http://www.angelfire.com/wi2/prysmstar/
Survivor's story, message board, poetry and links to other resources.
  Aching Heart http://www.angelfire.com/journal/achingheart/
A resource for women survivors of sexual abuse and incest.
  HEAL (Helping Everyone Abused Live) http://beehive.thisisessex.co.uk/HEAL
Offers support and self help for adult survivors of childhood abuse.